toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We talked him into tasing himself.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
