I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So apparently I’m into choking now
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