I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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