I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
