3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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