Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
