How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
