I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
