you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
