Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
