Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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