I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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