Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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