you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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