Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
