Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
