Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am available for nakedness
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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