that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she told me i tasted like america
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
