Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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