the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We have so much sex to catch up on
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
