you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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