So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
