my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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