pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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