I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
