Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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