When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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