I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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