Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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