i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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