Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
