but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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