didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
