I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i've created a new STD.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
