i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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