i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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