wakey wakey hands off snakey
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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