The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i believe in u and ur pee
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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