I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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