My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
