hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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