u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
