My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
