he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
