I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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