In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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