so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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