so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
