physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish you could order shots online.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
not ubering you a puppy
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
