she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
