do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
