i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
