I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
