Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
