i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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